Commonwealth Essay

Hey guys! Just wanna say that Commonwealth essay submissions are due 1 May 2013, and if you wanna join, go write it! This year's theme is "Opportunity Through Enterprise", and the website is here:  http://www.thercs.org/youth/Filestore/Competitions_2013/CW_Essay_Competition_Booklet_2013.pdf

So do participate! :) yay

A flood of tears behind that smile

"You got 92/100 again! Stupid girl lah!"

Slap.

She lost my balance and fell. She could still feel the imprint of her hand, 10 seconds after her vicious mother delivered that blunt blow on the back of her head. She could feel the defiant tears struggling, longing to break free of my control and stream down my cheeks. But she held them back.

"Why are you showing me this face ah? You angry with me is it? I'll show you!"

Another slap.

She quickly changed her expression to one of artificial smiles. It had become a habit, a daily part of her life, to hold back her tears and put on a pretentious smile, one that everybody liked. To push away her family background, and embrace a false circle of friendship. Tomorrow, at school, she would have to put on more make-up to hide her red-streaked cheeks. And just like before, she would plaster a fake smile onto her face and put on a light-hearted, bright disposition to cover up her tears.

At school, she was always the it-girl. She had the prettiest face, had the most admirers, and every girl would kill to be like her. But what they would never know, was the story behind the sweet, out-going girl.

They would never see the flood of tears, behind that seemingly sincere yet pretentious smile.

Floral Prints {4}

I quickly removed my hand from his and backed away. A clear and calm mind was what I needed. I placed my heads on my knees took a deep breath. Okay.

I checked my phone and realized that Hyunsoo has returned to our dorm. Looking back at Jinyoung, I began to deliberate on the current situation I have on my hands. I would be facing expulsion should Jinyoung be found in my dorm room. But then, we do have an extra bed after Lilianne graduated last summer. But Hyunsoo would kill me if she found out I was hiding a guy in our dorm as she would be expelled too but maybe the hopeless romantic she was, she might try to help me? And of course not to mention that the vacated bed was in my room and Jinyoung would see all my things and embarrassing designs and everything. I shook my head ferociously while keeping it on my knees, trying to hide the deep flush in my cheeks.

And of course our academy had this system where family members [female] could come and stay over for a while when they visit and Jinyoung would not be staying over too long, I suppose. Not to mention that he really does look like a girl and that I could impose some rules on him which I will be drawing up I guess. And Jinyoung did seem to be a decent guy…

I lifted my head from the awkward and unnatural position and looked at Jinyoung. He looked at me with concern and placed a hand on my shoulder. I took another deep breath.

“Okay. You may stay.”

Jinyoung let out a sigh of relief and was about to jump on me to possibly hug me. I, however, stopped him by putting two hands on his shoulders sternly. Hissing and spitting out the words – “There are going to be rules.”

The young man (or lady) who stood before me gave me a look of bewilderment and sat down yet again, as did I on the two-seater sofa next to him. We cleared the coffee cups and in the middle of the soft blues I began to draw up the guidelines on a piece of napkin.

1.     You must always dress in female clothing (and wig). Even while sleeping.

2.     You must not use the toilet to shave, or any other thing to make Hyunsoo suspect you are a guy.

3.     You must not rummage through my designs or wardrobe.

4.     You must stay 4m away from me in my room as we are sharing one.

5.     You must not do anything funny to Hyunsoo.

6.     You cannot leave the dorm when I am out of the house.

7.     You must answer the phone when I call (Look at the caller ID)

And that began my dorm life with my childhood friend – Jinyoung.

- alicemylove 

Floral Prints {3}

“Well, it's a long story. Are you sure you will be here with me till the end?”

I looked down at my toes. It had been so long since we had last spoke to each other so it was awkward sitting here in his presence.

“I came here for you.” He said, while smiling the sweet smile that had entranced fangirls throughout the world, meeting my gaze.

I punched his arm with much force. Being his best friend from young, I understood what this type of smile meant and the lies behind it.

“Okay, okay I was joking!” he laughed as everyone turned to look at him.  “Wooyoung, you should be less uptight.” While chuckling, he ran a hand through his foreign long hair. “Anyway, I need your help. You know how I had debuted? Well, I recently had some problems so I ran away from them. And … I didn't have any friends I could look for in Korea so I looked for you. You will help me right? I need a place to stay for the time being. And I heard that you were in a girl school so … ” and then he gestured to his strange get up.

Doubt crept into my heart. I really didn't know what to do. Being in an all girls’ school, it was against the rules to bring boys back to our dorms. It would be instant expulsion, thus ending my career. But as Jinyoung smiled sweetly opposite me, I remembered how he would do everything for me, standing up for me against bullies and everything. And his puppy dog eyes – how can I refuse him? My heart quivered as he looked at me with familiar pleading eyes. It reminded me of the ten year old boy I had a crush on back in Korea, the one living opposite me, the one who grew into the star now sitting opposite me. I simply did not have it within me to cast him aside.

Jinyoung leaned over the table and held my hand warmly in his palm, dragging my body close to his. My face flushed thoroughly as heat rose through my being.

“Please?”

- alicemylove

Floral Prints {2}

So there we were. Sitting in a coffee shop at 8pm sipping latte.

It was a nice and warm ambience with a touch of familiarity as I had come here quite often. With soft classical music playing in the background, I gazed at Jinyoung who had been drinking his latte quietly. Noticing my eyes on him, he smiled the same old smile he always gave me as a child. The sides of his lips curved upwards and my heart skipped a beat instantly. And yet, his dressing was extremely foreign to me.

The slender guy I had always known had long curly hair. The floral dress he was wearing seemed exceptionally unusual and yet surprisingly suits him well. He sat demurely, as if this was not his first time cross-dressing.

When I was young, Jinyoung had always been there for me. We shared our hopes and dreams. For Jinyoung, he wanted to be on stage, to sing and to dance and to use his talents to lift the spirits of others. For me, I wanted to be an art graduate majoring in fashion design. Together we made a quirky pair who lived just one step away.

But then, he was scouted at the age of 17 and I was sent to America to study art on a scholarship. We haven’t really contacted each other since then so after 2 years, I was surprised to see him here in America.

And now the big question – “What are you doing in America while cross-dressing?”

- alicemylove

Floral Prints {1}

"Hyunsoo! Why are you taking so long!"

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry! I'll be taking a while!"

I was at the mall with my best friend Hyunsoo who just had to have diarrhea after lunch. Bored while waiting for her, I decided to pop into the nearby music store to see if the latest B1A4 album has arrived. Mumbling to myself about how Hyunsoo should not have eaten off the ground, I looked into my handbag to make sure I would have enough cash to pay for the album. After all, when you are away in a foreign land without family, you would have to buy your own Christmas present.

In the empty mall, I began to walk into the store when I suddenly bumped into something. Hot liquid splashed down my jeans and I recoiled in pain.

"Hey! Watch where you're going!"

"I'm so so sorry!"

The familiar voice greeted me and I looked up instantly. It was melodious and yet crisp and light like a summer breeze. It was Jinyoung! My best friend from Korea! In a dress! "Jinyoung! What are you doing in a dress! And in America?" He clamped his hand over my mouth and put a finger to his lips. "Let us discuss this over coffee. "

- alicemylove 

Unrequited love

I swallow my saliva nervously, and rub my clammy hands against my shirt.

I have decided to talk to you, for the first time this whole year. You have probably never known that I existed, though I have always been conscious of yours. Despite the fact that I sit behind you, you have never once turned around to talk to me, or started a conversation. You only talk to your circle of friends, who sit beside you in every single class you have together.

You should know, the moment I first saw you my heartbeat stopped. It was then that I knew I had fallen in love. I didnt know then whether I should go up to talk to you, but now I regret not doing so. Every day, I would watch you quietly from a distance, and it broke my heart to see you talking to another guy and smiling at whatever it said.

I probably dont have a chance with you, but I've gotta try, dont I?

So now, as I walk up towards you, my heart is thumping against my rib-cage, which feels like is going to give away. My legs feel wobbly as I number every step I take towards you.

One.

Two.

Three.

Four.

Five.

At the sixth step, you look at me and your expression changes to one of disgust. I feel like my whole world is crumbling to bits as you turn away sharply and leave me just standing there.

Forever.

--

But then again, this is just unrequited love.